So? Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!!! (The commercial life.)

(ENTRY is from 2 years ago)

NOTE: 

THIS IS CRUCIAL! 

PLEASE READ THIS POST WITH ENTHUSIASM. ENJOY!

x on one cheek, x on the other (kisses).

O M G! how's your life? I haven't seen you in a while 

(hugs, smiles and a burst of enthusiasm)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

our acting skills are amazing aren't they? - esp when we come to a dance event and "run" into someone that we don't "expect" to see. lol

 "xx, omg! how's your life?"

so what do you do?

We oblige. We fall into the trap! Their smile is SO infectious that it cons you into acting the same way. Esp. when they say:

O M G. I've been SO busy! I haven't been to class in AGES! You know how it is. (the throw of the hand) I've barely been here. 

Then you're like, "wait? syh (shaking your head) Nooooooo I don't know how it is." 

Then you ask yourself - Did I really just act like that?

Just confused. 

-------------------

15min later!

spotted! you catch the eye of someone across the room . . . their mouth is wide open and there eyes have turned into bug eyes. 

Here they come!!! . . . kisses to everyone as they come in your direction. 

x on one cheek, x on the other (kisses)

O M G! how's your life?

You oblige AGAIN. 

Conversation ends up being longer this time.

You're barely keeping that (fake) smile on your face . . . you know? the one that goes away in the instant they walk away...

Coffee Bean date soon? Hit me up! But NOT this week, I'm swamped. There's Posers, then the Industry Voice Awards, then Carnival - then I'm working with . . . on this project. And I might be going on Tour soon - I haven't talked to my agent yet . . . we'll figure out though. 

Conversation twist:

You look good! x on one cheek. Talk soon!

Wait! Did you even get a word in during that last phrase?

You oblige though: The smile continues in parting. 

----------

Times goes by - you're watching tech rehearsal. Sitting on the stairs, close to the EXIT. And someone comes to plop down right beside you . . . 

x on one cheek, x on the other (kisses)

How have you been?!?!? I haven't seen you in a lonnnnnnnng time! O M G it's SO good to see you! So who's piece are you in? . . . I have to go, but we HAVE to catch up!

To be continued . . .

fake it till you make it! ~ signing off. 

----------------

*Inspired when sitting in tech rehearsal with a friend! haha <3 nbsp="">

Excuse me??? I didn't hear you.

Ok! Let's go across the floor. Let's do some improv . . . whatever you want, just connect with the music.
----
Ok! Let's do a little bit of contact improv . . . feel each other's energies, don't upstage each other. 
----
(groups of 2, dancers are going across the floor . . . exploring)

Next duet!
(girl walks off)

At that moment, I had a "back in the day, Melodrama teaching in Chicago moment!" Ohhhhhh ish! (My Chicago peeps know what this means)

I told the class to continue . . . 
I walked over to the 'missing person.' 
I asked: Is everything ok?

Student response: I'm not doing that! 
My face: (confusion)
My response: Excuse me?!?! What's the problem?
Student: I don't know how to do that? I don't feel comfortable. 
My response: I think you should at least try it, there are no wrong answers.
Student: NO!
Me: (getting heated) You left your partner hanging!
(other students still going across the floor)
Me: Didn't you pay $20 for class???
Student: It's MY money!
Me: (gasp and a walk away)

I can't believe how adamant a student would be in NOT following directions! Disrespect + My class = a NO GO!

Sooooooooooooo there it was! SPEECH TIME! (remaining students have confusion on their faces)

Question? Do you think that as teachers we make you do things to embarrass you? Ummmmmm NO! Idk. Obviously, there is something that you may be lacking that needs to improved. Idk. We can HELP you with it! I've just been a teacher since the Ice Age and have come across SO many students . . . with issues! haha

(Said student is now, taking off her socks and SLOWLY trying 'nOt to be obvious' that she's trying to DIP OUT!) 

As the other students are taking a break, I go over to her and say WITH a smile (high pitched voice): Thanks for coming!!! (Student now has an attitude. . . go figure)

(There will probably be an email in my inbox from my boss :P)

Moral of the story my friends: If you don't want to TRY, why come to a CONTEMPORARY class? (Or any class for that matter) To be perfect? To always make sure you don't look stupid? To always look in the mirror? (BIG BULL HORN SOUND) Wrong answer! 

LOL what's funny is that from NOT participating in the exercise and walking out of class - you ATTRACT more attention to yourself! 

Let's be respectful and TRY, next time.

Excuse me? I didn't hear you . . . leaving! ~ signing off. 

walk it out

 "Kelly can you handle this? Michelle can you handle this? Deyonce can you handle this? I don't think they can handle this!!!!!!" Whooooooo saaaaaaaaaaa!

And our topic for tonight's blog would be . . . WALKING OUT OF DANCE CLASS! Now! I've had several accounts of this happening in my classes and I thank the heavens that I'm more, calm, cool and collected now! BUT! before now, here's how the situation would have go down . . . 

"ummmmm class hold on! (me chasing student down the hall) Excuse me! Excuse me! Why did you just leave class??? (excuses, excuses, excuses) I need you to go BACK to class and challenge yourself for 1 day! You paid you're money right???" . . . student walks back to class (afraid) haha 

TODAY! I'm older BUT . . . I STILL don't understand! 

Question? There are class levels correct? 1, 2, 3 . . . basic, beginner, intermediate, ADVANCED, etc. Why do people with a basic level DECIDE to take a . . . let's say ADVANCED HIP HOP class, if they have NOT advanced? Then, they get frustrated (disrespectful) and leave? YOU answer it! . . . 
I can't!

Wait! here's a NEW one for my life! Situation: student walks out of class, after I told her that we weren't on a water break! HA! Water is for wimps! lol 

Question? If the teacher isn't 'huffing and puffing' and no extrenious activity has transpired yet - tell me why you would need water? I guess I'm ol' skool! Tantrums for water! Not my thing! Moving on. 

You guys have NO idea! I can spot someone walking out of class from a mile away . . . like a dog sensing a proller! No! better yet! . . . I am the terminator! I WILL terminate yo bleep! if you walk out and never choose to give that "church one finger up, head down" gesture. Some teachers (MOST) don't care, butttttttt ding! ding! . . . Deyonce does! 

Question? Did you not like my class? SO! You teach it!
Question? Did you all of a sudden come down with this sudden sickness affecting your limbs to dance? Uhhhhh NO! Suck it up!
Question? Was there a dog chasing you out of the room? Duh! No animals allowed!
Question? Did you accidently go into the wrong class and have to run out in the MIDDLE bc you just realized it? Ummmmm Don't think so! Get it together! 
And last question? Was it "try a class" day and if you didn't like it, you just moved on to the next? Well . . . maybe - NOT! As my In Living Color memory serves me right  . . . HATED IT! 

[So for this! I'm gonna give you: 2 snaps with a black girl attitude, lips poked out, closing my eyes with a deep breath, slow exhale, and a hope that I didn't see your face to remember who you were when you try to take my class again.] haha 

LESSON:
Walking out of class is just SO disrepectful to the instructor guys . . . Teachers work just as hard as you do (even more). I always say this: If you have to leave early - tell the teacher beforehand, if the class is too hard or 'not your thing' - challenge yourself for the day - you don't have to go back to that class . . . remember that. 

Hope you learned your lesson for the day! DON'T WALK OUT OF CLASS! Esp mine! haha

we DON'T walk it out ~ signing off. 

COCKINESS . . . the REMIX not by Rihanna.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Did I miss something?
When do I ever APPEAR like I need assistance in a DANCE class? 
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I don't think . . . ever! 
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Let me back up . . . in a convention style . . . 'urban movement' type of class - lol
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm never! haha

So here's just some info to think about . . . 

if a person isn't moving with the class - maybe he's LISTENING (to the music).
if a person is chatting on the side with [her] friend - maybe she's BORED. haha
if a person is late for class - maybe he's doing it on PURPOSE to challenge his 'pick up skill.'
if a person walks to the front of class while the teacher is doing a demo - maybe she's WATCHING (the teacher). 
if a person isn't sweating - maybe he 'HAS IT!' HA!
if a person doesn't KNOW YOU - maybe focus on YO-SELF! lol

Scene:

"dancer" (in quotes guys) - When do you know when to start the routine? I don't hear it!
me (dancer) - no response. haha (other "dancer" behind me answers)

Later Scene:

"dancer" - I think it goes like this (demonstrating) You should . . . 
me (dancer no quotes) - [confused look on face] I'm good! 

End scene.

Some would say - awwwwww he was just trying to be helpful. True. 
I would say - Wait! Wait! Wait! Did I miss something - did I ask for help? Snobby? Yes. Sorry. haha

Lesson as a 'sing-a-long' shall we?: 
"No one can do DANCE the way that I dooooooooooooo! Boy I wannnnnnnnnnt yooooooooouuuuuuuuuu - I love it. I love it. I love it when you BEAT it (Repeat 3x) - Yup! Yup! Yup! Yup! Yup! DUCK my Cockiness - HEAR my persuasion. Eat my words and then swallow your pride - down, down. Place my want and need for your DISMISSAL - and then DON'T come around, DON'T come around, DON'T come around!"

ohhhhhhhhh! Rihanna would be so proud!

I love it. I love it. I love it when you BEAT it. . . signing off. :)

Who you gonna call???

Who you gonna call??? Ghostbusters!!! NOT!

you need a sub. call dionna. that's the name of the game.

contemp? call dionna.
stretch class? call dionna.
hip hop? call dionna.
jazz (a.k.a contemp?) call dionna.
last min cancellation? call dionna.
two in a row? call dionna.
jazz funk? call dionna.
two in a day? call dionna.
(for a good teacher . . . call dionna.)
need a challenge? call dionna.
get some feedback? call dionna.
three that day? call dionna.
studio from the suburbs? call dionna.
need yo a** kicked?(in class) call dionna.
need some advice? don't call dionna.
hip hop, then beg ballet? call dionna.
need a warmup? call dionna.
late for your warmup? call dionna.
ipod died? got it on my phone! call dionna.
need an opinion about somebody's class? call dionna.
for some improv? yo! call dionna.
wait! did you thank your teacher? betta thank dionna!
get them kids together? call dionna.
parent complaints? don't call dionna.
conditioning? call dionna.
holiday wknd? call dionna.
teachers on vacation? call dionna.
invested in some dancers? call dionna.
set you straight? (in class) call dionna.
corrections? call dionna.
critiques? call dionna.
cleaning? (in rehearsals) call dionna.
in class dancing? yup! there's dionna!
referral? call dionna.
need a new teacher? call dionna.
same kinda class? not dionna.
'a fresh open mind?' said by dionna.
studio questions? call dionna.
kids be yawning? beware of dionna.
forgot about your class? they already called dionna!
serious about that art? that be dionna! 
workshops? masterclasses? call dionna.
you were on the schedule? bc they called dionna.
oh! forgot about burlesque jazz! What? call dionna.
Remember that Urban Movement. That's right - they called dionna!
Anything else??? - be sure to call dionna! . . . my info is on my website. haha


in the studio all day, everyday! call dionna! ~ signing off.

OMG! You're driving me CRAZY!!!

You don't have car??? What do you mean you don't have a car!?! How do you get around LA without a car?!! Here's the address . . . you can take the 101. Ohhhhhh! You don't have a car??? Why don't you get a car? I don't understand how you don't have a car! Wow! I thought you had a car! No car. Do you need a ride? Sorry I'm not going that way. Call me when you get home. (2hrs later) Too bad you don't have a car. Well . . . if you just jump on the 405S, its not that far away - oh damn, but you don't have a car. Girl, I wish I could help but I'm not out that way. You should get a car. How do you get around without a car? Have you looked into Zipcar? If you have a car, the parking space is included. You do know how to drive right?!!?? Wait! Do you know how to drive? How long does it take you to get here? Taxi. Bus. Foot. Train, excuse me - The Metro. Where's your car? Which car is yours? Where did you park? I parked around the corner - where did you park? Did you drive? I need a car. Sorry girl, I would but I don't have any gas. Get home safe though! I'll give you gas money. Can you pay for gas if I give you a ride? I can't believe you don't have a car! Have you ever had a car? Oh shit! Edge just texted me - I teach in a half hour, they think I have a car. Steph! Where are you? I just pulled my car in the lot. Janelle! Can you pick me up? Nope. My car isn't working. Wish I had a car. Well, what happened to your car? What do you mean? I'm walking, it's raining annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd no car. Going to Vegas to win a car! I'm walking. He's staring. Rent-a-car? How much for a car??? Steal a car? Hi-jack a car! Look! There's a car for sale! Why did you stop driving? I didn't. I almost ran you over with a my car! Running late for Carnival? You don't need a car. Carpool. 

It's late. The train stopped running and I don't have a car . . .  

driven. signing off. 

the chase . . . no . . . the escape!!!

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Shut the front door! lol When I'm teaching I'm like a predator! Nothing. Absolutely nothing gets past me!

Why don't you make a checklist of things that you've probably done in class:

1. Took a big a** yawn!
2. Decided to take your own water break.
3. Stood with your head cocked to the side with an "I'm over it face."
4. Let the class do the warm up sequences but not you!
5. Rolled your eyes.
6. Had a full out conversation in the back of the room while the teacher was teaching.
7. Came in late!
8. Skipped stretch for the combo!
9. Wore your huge a** earrings and hair down to a TECHNIQUE class!
10. Acted like you didn't know what was going on.
11. "forgot" you were in a dance class
12.  "This is my first class back; I haven't danced in years!"
13. Asked to be a guest for class at the last min!
14. Forgot that warm up meant that you actually sweat!
15. Slacked off in the back.
16. Forgot to put your boy shorts underneath your pj shorts . . . and now we're stretching in 2nd. Oops!
17.  Thought YOU were the assistant.
18. Asked questions before the teacher could get out the first 8ct.
19. "Don't take that class bc it's hard."
20. Didn't realize you needed to work a little hard.
21. "Excuse me, I have to leave early for work."

Ding! Ding! Ding! Annnnnnd here's the kicker! --------------------------- SNEAK OUT OF CLASS!

Annnnnnd Please tell them what they've won Mz MeloDrama!!!!

Well . . . A BADGE OF DISRESPECT and Don't come back to my class! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

ummmmm yeah - It's usually courteous to tell the teacher BEFOREHAND if you have to leave early, but in this particular case that I encountered recently . . . They (2) just decided that they were done learning from me and just needed to sign in for the next class 20min prior!

 not cool.

Here's my advice: Don't use any one's class as a "warm up" for the class "you REALLY want to take." RUDE.

I WILL notice and I WILL come after you! :) signing off.

Over the hill???

Interesting how the new age of "being old" is . . . let's just say when you're in that 25 and older bracket. What sucks is that you have to do 1 of 2 things - Lie about it or Pretend you're not. Both of these things I've tried and it gets rather difficult to keep up. Just like the saying goes - once you tell one lie or "pretend" - it just leads to more and more and more lies. 

The current friends in my circle, let's see: I don't think ANY of them REALLY know my age. And I kinda like it to stay that way. Why? Well 1. It's embarrassing when you can't talk about how you're "so happy to see your parents when they come into town." Parent-less, I have to fake my excitement when they all are so gitty about they're parents PAYING for (every)things for them. Ummm I wish! Psh! That ended before I finished grade school lol. 2. You want to fit in don't you? You damn right! When you're surrounded by younger people, you feel younger. You can have a good time bc no knows that you're "over it." You know . . . the talks about boys and the let's smoke all night. Ummm no. I would rather watch a reality TV show and eat a tub of ice cream, then later on cry myself to sleep bc I'm ? years old! 3. If everyone thinks you're younger . . . why not go along with it? That just means you're doing something right . . . that extra dance class a day keeps you "young" I guess. 4. If they knew you're REAL age then, they'd start feeling all bad for you bc you haven't accomplished anything and you're still broke. However, the gist of remorse would be "awwww sorry." (Then you roll your eyes as they turn their backs, reappearing with a fake smile)

I don't know. The whole age thing baffles me sometimes . . . I'm in my prime; I can feel it. Though, as I look around - I guess prime means burnt rather than a good piece of meat cooked to perfection. And burnt usually means you need to throw it away. Annnnnnnnd I don't know how I feel about that yet. I always thought that old meant like 60, which means by then, I'll be decrypted huh? That really sucks!

Well I forgot what this entry was really about but let's recap: Does being 25 and older mean that you're life should start to make a drastic turn? Society already thinks you should be engaged and shortly after be buying a house and having a kid. Let me tell you what it means in the dance industry . . . "ummmm why are you still trying to dance? You better be trying to teach and do choreography or something- directing maybe? Doesn't look to good for you./I'll put you in my Carnival piece (that'll make you feel better.)" 

I thought we grew wiser with age, like a fine wine? No? Well . . . here's your lesson for the day: Do anything and everything to disquise that shit until you get caught! haha 

keepin it young - signing out. 

ummmmmmm - It's called DANCE CLASS!

ummmmmmm - It's called Dance Class! . . . is brought to you by Ms. Annoid a.k.a. Mz Melodrama a.k.a THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT BETTA REACH YOU!

Now that that's out the way - let's get started with the subject at hand shall we? . . . with a few questions/comments/concerns - whichever you would prefer.

NOTE! Make sure: After reading the statements below - PLEASE ADD the phrase: "UMMMMMM - IT'S CALLED DANCE CLASS!" following each . . . THAAAAAAANK YOU. :)

1. Sweat . . .

2. A WARRRRRRM UP . . .

3. This is NOT a party - we do not just do what we want . . .

4. Getting a "correction" is NOT the end of the world! Jeez . . .

5. If you wanted to have a Nickolodean slumber party, wearing your matchy matchy tank and short shorts, jumping up and down with your arms thrusting in the air, swinging your head from side to side, in a daze, shouting "whoo who" . . . (hope your stating that phrase we talked about)

6. Nor is this Project Runway, Season Finale . . .

7. MUST we ask for water after every exercise? Did I miss the 10K that we just ran? - At the most, a single class is an hour and a half - I think we can manage . . .

8. What are the barres along the wall used for again? Have we suddenly become crippled after each exercise or instruction? Possibly. We sure like to lean all up against them - chillin! We SHOULD be using it to "get on our leg!" . . .

9. What's with the attitude when you walk into the room? Did your mommy make you come today? Dance is supposed to be "a moment of happiness and pure bliss."

10. And guess what? Sorry to burst your bubble - there's this thing called "hard work" that's also associated with it - maybe a push up, maybe a crunch . . .

11. Oh my bad! Did you think this was Zumba? . . .

12. Wait! If you wanted to teach - why didn't you tell me? Clearly you know more than the teacher . . . (gagging)

13. I'm just breaking hearts this evening, aren't I? So sorry but sometimes you may have to put your hair up! You know . . . when you can't do a pirouette bc the length of your hair falls near your REAR and you CAN'T do a turn - OR maybe bc you might BLIND someone else . . .

14. DISCIPLINE (state that phrase - I know it's hard)

15. Here's the kicker! Check this out . . . You MAY learn something NEW! . . . possibly from a NEW teacher with NEW ideas! (insert phrase here) OMG! I think my heart almost stopped . . .

Now - I may have forgotten a few, but rest assured - I'll be back! And also - this is mostly to inform the "teeny-boppers" or the SYTYCD generation -

Before we close - let me tell you what DANCE CLASS IS NOT CALLED=

"A Private Party"

though . . . India Arie sings about this So beautifully, this is NOT what we are going for! LISTEN UP EVERYONE - There is a criteria . . . a standard . . . a discipline to uphold - carried down from generations and generations of sticks hitting the floor and "YOU SUCK!" 'Fame costs' ladies and gents and it starts riiiiight here! haha (Debbie Allen - love her)

In the words of Mz. Melodrama - "GET IT TOGETHER!"

the party's over! - signing off.

Switcheto thee Lineno. Parlez vous francias?

Switching lines.

What does that REALLY mean? Shall we "define" it?

(from my Macbook dictionary)

"SWITCH = an act of adopting one policy or way of life; or choosing one type of item, in place of another; A CHANGE!"

Let me translate this in 'black girl terms' . . . ADOPT your way to another spot in the room or movvvvvvvvvve yourself out of my way; why don't you chooooooose somewhere else to go, instead of . . . the place that you been standing all during class; better yet - CHANGE LINES!!! lol Thaaaaaatttt's about clear now . . . RIGHT? :))))))

I just don't understand the logic of when a teacher says: switch lines . . . no one moves or if they do they "pretend." Its really not that hard of a concept people . . . if you see a large wave of people moving behind you - that might mean that you should move too! Ding! Ding! Ding!

What's with the selfishness of the "front people" NOT wanting to move? 1. No one is "taking" your spot . . . we have no assign spots in dance class! Can you imagine if you came into the room and your name was imprinted on the floor with a box around it and you could ONLY dance in that spot? Borrrrrrrring! And pretty pre-ballet level 1 . . . when they make the kids stand on the those little circles to teach them about first position. haha 2. Did youuuuuu know that if you followed the "sequence" of switching lines . . . you might end up in the spot that you started in? Ohhhhhhhhhhh Shnappppp! The Logic. I wish I had a 3 - but I don't.

HOWWWWWWWEVER! There are some individuals who should NEVER switch lines . . . the BIG AND TALL. Yes . . . the ones who are already about 7ft tall and can already see over the choreographer. Please tell me why you would stand in front of the girl who is 4'3"? lol Common sense people . . . COME ON.

What else should be said about switching lines? I guess I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you are intriguely entrenched in intensifying intellect impacted with endless information. Naw, Naw . . . :) Instead, we act like Impi hovering around the choreographer in full armor. lol

I kid you not - this is an huge dilemma spreading across all lands! We MUST figure out the best solution! Super D to the rescue! Here we go . . .

The teacher says: Switch lines!

THIS is what will happen to those who choose not to switch lines =

BLACK GIRL PATROL (a.k.a Me) eases up along side of victim and slowly makes sure mouth is in the right alignment with ear, full vocals ready . . . "SHE SAAAAAAIIIIDDDDD MOVE!" After the words come out SO gloriously - I end with a roll of the eyes, swoop of the neck, lips puckered, one hand on hip, slight plie to the left, and the most vicious grandmama stare (like the one when you tried to fall asleep in church as a little girl). And until victim moves - you WAIT! Then on to the next victim(S) . . .

kids! don't try this at home - signing off.

ABDC =A. B[ad]. D[amn]. C[ase] of . . . Am IIIIIII Crazy???

Do you want to be in my crew?

Wait! let me back up in this "tale between two lovers" . . .

--------------------------------------------------

Random girl = what crew do YOU belong to???

Me (the normal one) = I don't.

Random girl = Do you want to be in my crew for "this show?"

Me (the normal one) = What?

Random girl = I'm a choreographer.

Me (the normal one) = ok.

Random girl = Rehearsals would be . . .

Me (the normal one) = (confused as hell) I would need to see some footage.

Random girl = Well what style of dance do you do?

Me (the normal one) = Contemporary, Hip Hop, and Jazz Funk

Random girl = We have a dress code in my crew: ALL BLACK, no make up, no fingernail polish, only double XL shirts, hair slicked back in a ponytail.

Me (the normal one) = (trying to keep from laughing in her face)

Me (the normal one) = ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Random girl = yes.

Random girl = Well I need to know if you want to be a part of my crew. Right now I have a girl who does hip hop and ballet. And I actually had to let go of all of the krumpers that I auditioned last week.

Me (the normal one)= I would need to see some type of footage, better yet, are you taking class today?

Random girl = well I can do that s***! (pointing at the television) What class are you taking?

Me (the normal one) = . . .

Random girl = I don't know her.

Me (the normal one) = Wow. She's actually pretty popular.

Random girl = I'm a choreographer.

Me = Choreographers take class too! lol

Random girl = I need to know if you want to be a part of the crew?

Me = walking away . . .

Random girl = (on to her next victim)

END OF SCRIPT.

---------------------------------------------

MORAL OF THE STORY: WHAT THE HELL??? This is exactly why taking class is SO important kids! Without constant knowledge being fed into your brain - you may begin to LOSE YOUR DAMN MIND! . . . and think that "You are a choreographer with a crew - ready for ABDC."

never in my life - signing off.